Thursday 26 May 2016

Week 19

Today was a special day. If you never guessed it's my Birthday! I dressed up nice to blow out my candles, I was rocking my light up sketchers, a pair of camo shorts, and my and my orange tank top. Blowing and blowing the candle wouldn't go out but as the flame flickered and went out, my wish had came true! There was a bunch of big happy people in front of me. Those people are my family. The only thing I will ever need is my loving, caring family.
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4 comments:

  1. Tigger26 May 2016 at 09:32

    It was a nice story but halfway through it felt like you just jumped it

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  2. Unknown26 May 2016 at 09:35

    Great story it's very touching.

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  3. Batman26 May 2016 at 09:35

    I really liked your story. On the third line you said "and my" two times. Also, on your fourth line when you start you sentence with blowing, the sentence doesn't make sense. Good story though.

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  4. Unknown27 May 2016 at 14:23

    Good story. But, when you say "if you never guessed it's my Birthday!" First of all, you wrote the word "Birthday" in a capital letter, you should change that to a lower case. Also, you said "today was a special day" So that was past tense. Then, you said "if you never guessed it's my birthday." And, this was recent, so you should say "if you didn't guess, it was my birthday." And, when you said "and my orange orange tank top." You accidentally wrote "and my" double times.

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