Thursday 5 May 2016

100 WC week 16

Getting my wisdom teeth pulled out has always been a fear of mine just the thought of all the needles and different tools frightened me. I was nervous until the doctor gave me my medicine, and I couldn't remember anything after that. When I woke up I felt nothing but after a little while suddenly the pain struck. Not more medicine meant I could feel everything. And that sure sucked.
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5 comments:

  1. SoccerLover5 May 2016 at 10:18

    Your second to last sentence I think you meant 'no more medicine' instead if 'not more medicine'. Also, your last sentence starts with
    an 'and' , and you don't normally start your sentences with 'and'.

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  2. Tigger5 May 2016 at 10:18

    I kinda got lost near the end maybe you could clear that up

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  3. Unknown5 May 2016 at 11:51

    Your story was really good. But, the part where you say " when I woke up I felt nothing but after a little while..." You should have a comma after " woke up", and you should have a comma after "nothing." And later when you wrote "after a little while suddenly the pain struck." You should also have a comma after suddenly. Also, you should have a comma after "mine" in your first sentence which is "Getting my wisdom teeth pulled out has always been a fear of mine, (comma) just then..." But other than those things your story was really good.

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  4. Unknown5 May 2016 at 11:57

    Sick

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  5. lillytiger6 May 2016 at 17:36

    I agree with Soccor lover. Also the last semtence you could add to it to make it more descriptive. You could add some descriptive language too, to really "set the scene"

    ReplyDelete

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