One sunny evening I decided to get off my butt and go for a hike. In the blink of an eye there I was at the top of a huge mountain, Mount. Everest. Standing on the edge of this huge cliff, I realize the only way to get down is to jump. Luckily, I have my red umbrella.
“GERONIMO!” I shout with fear in my voice as I make the jump. I floated down quite peacefully until… SWOOSH, SWOOSH. The wind had blown me straight into a big, hard tree. “Cory. Cory. It's time to wake up you have school.”
Your story is good, but there is some mistakes. I don't think you need a period in between Mount Everest. It got really confusing how you got on the cliff, and why the only was to get down was to jump? At the end you could put exclamation mark instead of periods.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story - Well done! I liked how in the end it was all a dream. That is the great thing about dreams; you can climb the highest mountain and still be back for school!
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work,
Mrs Boyce,
Ireland.